Marriage

Do you sometimes find it hard to be honest with God regarding the fertility problems you face? I know that I do at times. Perhaps sometimes it just feels easier to give God my best spiritual performance by telling him what I think he wants to hear instead. Perhaps a part of me still thinks my healing is based on my goodness or how well I weather the challenge.

I’ll never forget the day I was cleaning through my top dresser drawer and found a treasure.I almost threw out the stack of aged, yellowed papers, weathered by time and slightly torn on the edges. When I unfolded the papers and read through them, I instantly realized why I’d kept them all those years. They were love letters from my husband written nearly 30 years ago, and they contained phrases such as “I love you beyond expression” and “You complete me like no other.”As I read those words, my eyes teared up. And then my heart dropped. I haven’t had a letter like this from him in years.How I would have liked to believe that I hadn’t changed a bit through the years and that he was the one who grew distant and less interested over time. I felt convicted, though, to put that magnifying glass up to myself and ask if I was still the same woman to whom he wrote those letters. Suddenly I wished I could turn back the clock and have that man I married see me the way he once did – as the captivating woman he fell in love with. And then I realized if that was to happen I had to become the woman I once was – as a young bride – and treat him like I once did.I went to a portion of Scripture that describes young, exciting love and from the “Shulamite bride” in Song of Songs, discovered ten ways that I could act like a new bride again and recapture my husband’s heart. And you know what happened? As I started talking to him and treating him the way I once did, it wasn’t long before he became the man I once married.See if these ten ways to recapture his heart don’t transform your marriage, too.

Do you remember what it was like to really enjoy one another’s company? Chances are when you and your spouse fell in love, you did everything together, couldn’t stand to be apart, and your fun times outweighed the stressful times.Yet it’s only a matter of time before reality sets in and the familiar replaces the fun, the routine replaces spontaneity, and your financial or vocational concerns replace your ability to throw caution to the wind and enjoy being together.For years, my husband and I were two people who, in some ways, walked alone in our marriage. We never intended for it to be that way. We lived in the same house, shared the same bank account, slept in the same bed, spent nearly every Friday of our married life together on a “date day.” We even raised a daughter, although I wouldn’t necessarily say we were good at raising her “together.” He did his part. I did mine. And that’s the way it was.Both of us had no idea how to give up our own ambitions, expectations, and conveniences in order to really walk together. But once we started incorporating some really simple activities that we wish we’d done years ago, it profoundly affected our marriage. Here are five activities that will strengthen your marriage and sense of togetherness:

Surrounding ourselves with women committed to fighting the good fight of faith for their own marriages is vital to our preserving our own marriages.

The Apostle Peter wrote husbands must give honor to their wives. They should treat them with understanding.

God’s goal is that romantic love, with all its potential pain and degradation, should be an arena of enjoyment for his redeemed people.

However, as believers, we are gifted with the Bible from God which teaches us and instructs us as women in every area of life, including marriage. Today we will study what does the Bible say about being a wife?

In other words, forgiveness in marriage is more than a practical strategy to maintain peace; it is a reflection of the Christian duty to forgive as we have been forgiven by God.

If you become obsessed with your longing to feel loved, you will become more preoccupied with self-satisfaction than with building a happy relationship.

Biblical marriage is a beautiful representation of the marriage of Christ to his Church. “My soul shall exult in my God, for he has clothed me with the garments of salvation; he has covered me with the robe of righteousness, as a bridegroom decks himself like a priest” (Isaiah 61:10).Revelation 19:7 echoes this Old Testament verse with its joyous tone: “Let us rejoice and exult and give him the glory, for the marriage of the Lamb has come, and his Bride has made herself ready.”Christian churches typically encourage a man and a woman not to live together before they get married, and not to forgo the ceremony. A wedding doesn’t have to be expensive, but declaring vows in front of other people provides accountability to everyone.Husband and wife are now accountable to each other and to the Body of Christ. If one party openly engages in sins and a member of the church witnesses the activity, that member has the responsibility of declaring the truth and leading this person back to the cross.My brothers, if anyone among you wanders from the truth and someone brings him back, let him know that whoever brings back a sinner from his wandering will save his soul from death and will cover a multitude of sins (James 5:19-20).Married couples can also become mentors to younger brides and grooms. Their relationship is designed to be an expression of the relationship between a person and his or her Savior, one in which there is grace, forgiveness, mercy, gentleness, loyalty, humility, generosity, trustworthiness, and so on.Marriage is a great friendship, and the Bible has a lot to say about it, but much of what is written is taken out of context or overlooked in the modern world, leading to the proliferation of damaging lies. Here are five myths about biblical marriage.Photo Credit: ©iStock/Getty Images Plus/Anchiy

Are there some classics that you love to watch this time of year? Plan a night to veg out together, maybe even snuggle up on the couch together, and enjoy a classic with your spouse. Pair the movie with some candied popcorn or hot chocolate, and you have a perfect night on your hands.

Moreover, praying together as a couple deepens emotional intimacy by inviting God into the marriage.

Let your husband know, especially when he feels he’s blown it, that you still need him, and you’d still choose him if you had to do it all over again. It’s another way to encourage him and show God’s unconditional love toward him when he needs it most.

Affirming your wife through words breathes life into her and your marriage.

Blind optimism says our spouse is our perfect soulmate who can do no wrong--but this only sets us up for painful disappointment. Hope and help are found in confronting the hard facts of marriage together.

The world's patterns fail to bring love and happiness, but the Author of marriage knows how to make it last a lifetime. Adapting God’s ways will instill ongoing, fulfilling joys between husband and wife.

God’s will is not for me to pout, sulk and withdraw when my feelings are hurt. In fact, I must daily ask God to give me a loving, kind heart and mind, able to effectively discern truth. Likewise, God’s will for me and you is to grow into healthy people like Christ.

If you’re married and you’re longing for the freedom in your single days, remember what you’ve gained when you got married. While we may need to give things up when we get married, we will also have amazing things on the horizon in return that we gain.

Actor Kirk Cameron mentioned how he refused to kiss an actress who wasn’t his wife on screen and the reaction he received because of his move.

Commitment is a big deal. Marriage, one of the biggest commitments a person can make, should not be taken lightly. For Christians, there is a lot of guidance on how to look for the right person to marry, what traits to look for, how to pray for the specific partner God may be leading you to, and how to have a healthy marriage.God’s Word gives encouragement and focuses on key foundations. People who are not Christian do not have to pursue these guidelines, but believers should. One of the most important principles Christians should follow when pursuing marriage is encouraged in the Epistle from Paul to the Corinthians, “Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness?” (2 Corinthians 6:14a).When Christians marry other Christians, their marriage glorifies God, used by God to sanctify one another, and is usable by God for His glory.Photo credit: ©Getty Images/pcess609