By Jennifer Waddle, Crosswalk.com
“Our honeymoon will shine our life long; its beams will only fade over your grave or mine.” ~Charlotte Bronte
The absolute bliss of finally kicking off those wedding shoes and driving away towards a bright and beautiful future, is an exciting moment indeed. After all, the weeks of preparation and full day of pasted-on smiles, has come to a happy end. Your honeymoon awaits!
For most couples, the honeymoon is a chance to take a breather before real life sets in. If planned well, it affords the couple a few days to relax, get to know each other better, and dream about the future.
But what happens when unexpected disappointments arise? Believe it or not, the honeymoon can include a mix of emotions—both good and bad. Here are 7 unexpected things that might upset you on your honeymoon, and what to do about them.
1. You might be sad that your name has changed.
For women, taking their new husband’s name is often a welcome change. But for some, it can usher in a mix of emotions that take them by surprise. I still remember shedding a few tears in the wee hours of the morning after my wedding day, realizing I would never carry my parent’s name again.
Don’t let this unexpected emotion get the best of you. Allow yourself to “feel all the feels” and embrace your new season in life. You are still who you were created to be, and now, you get to do life with the one you love.
And the two shall become one flesh; so they are no longer two, but one flesh. (Mark 10:8)
2. You might struggle to give up your independence.
If you were independently single for several years before your wedding, it may be a struggle to give that up. Even on your honeymoon, you can expect a lot of give-and-take when it comes to making decisions and doing things as a couple.
Pray hard for God to teach you how to yield to your new spouse. Ask for wisdom concerning when to speak up and when to remain silent. Practice putting your spouse’s needs above your own. Try to view dependence as a good thing—first on God and then on your significant other.
For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken. (Ecclesiastes 4:10-12)
3. You might be concerned about sexual expectations.
Everyone knows that honeymoons are romantic getaways for newlyweds to connect. However, certain sexual expectations can feel pressuring and even upsetting if both husband and wife are not on the same page.
It’s not uncommon for one spouse to want sex too frequently. Or, one person might expect love making to be more traditional than the other. Whatever the conflict, it’s wise to discuss the issue immediately and come to a loving compromise.
Sadly, our culture tends to distort sexuality, which can also make couples feel pressured to perform a certain way. Keep in mind, this is your marriage! You get to decide when and how to come together intimately. Make your romance exactly how it should be, under God’s beautiful design and within the parameters you both agree upon.
You may find this article helpful as you prepare for your honeymoon.
Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled. (Hebrews 13:4a)
4. You might spend more money than you planned.
Even if you planned your honeymoon months in advance, it’s almost certain there will be unexpected expenses. However, if you let this get out of control, you’ll end up with unwanted debt.
Vacation excursions, fine dining, and travel costs really add up! You might start to feel upset at the amount your significant other is spending. If possible, set a firm budget before the wedding and stick to it. Resist the urge to use credit cards to spend blindly. Once reality sets in and those credit card bills arrive, you’ll be thankful you showed some restraint on your honeymoon.
Here are 6 Ways to Plan a Honeymoon on a Budget.
The wise man saves for the future, but the foolish man spends whatever he gets. (Proverbs 21:20)
5. You might be sad that your wedding day is over.
After all the hype of planning, preparing, and savoring every moment of your wedding day, you might feel a huge let-down once the wedding is over. Sadly, these intense emotions can put a damper on your honeymoon if you’re not careful.
Instead of letting sadness overcome you on your honeymoon, talk about the wedding as a wonderful event that you’ll cherish forever. Laugh about the mishaps. Recall how each of you felt when you said your vows. But most of all, focus on the rest and relaxation your honeymoon affords.
Keep in mind that by the time you get back, your photographer will most likely have a showcase of beautiful photos ready to display. You’ll get to relive your wedding day as a rested and relaxed newlywed.
How abundant are the good things that you have stored up for those who fear you, that you bestow in the sight of all, on those who take refuge in you. (Psalm 31:19)
6. You might learn something unexpected about your new spouse.
As you unwind on your honeymoon, and have intimate late-night discussions, surprising things might come out about your new spouse that you weren’t prepared to hear.
Perhaps, your spouse will reveal something alarming about his upbringing. Or, maybe you’ll learn something new about a past relationship. Try not to let unexpected revelations shock or upset you. Be open to discussing them, but if you find yourself getting too emotional, agree to set it aside for when you’re back home.
Hopefully, you’ve already discussed the big issues before your wedding day. But if not, try not to overreact. Remember your own past as well. Chances are, you haven’t shared every detail of your life either. God can and will help you address the things that need to be addressed, and let go of the things that no longer matter.
Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. (Colossians 3:12-14)
7. You might feel overwhelmed at what lies ahead.
As the honeymoon begins to wind down, you might find anxiety starting to build. Thoughts of getting back to real life, returning to work, and setting up a home together can feel really BIG.
If anxious thoughts try to invade your honeymoon bliss, grab a notebook and pen and jot them down. Once you write it, leave it! This way, you’ll have a running list of things to tackle when you get back. And you might even find that some of the things on your list aren’t worth the worry!
No matter what unexpected things may arise on your honeymoon, don’t let them become stumbling blocks to a wonderful and prosperous marriage. Know that God is in control and He will bless marriages that are committed fully to Him.
Try your best to cherish every minute of your honeymoon. After all, you’ll never get to go back and relive it. Spend some of that relaxing time praying with you new spouse, asking God to lead the way. The honeymoon truly is a time to kick off those wedding shoes and drive away towards a bright and beautiful future.
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.6. You might learn something unexpected about your new spouse. (Isaiah 43:2)
A prayer you can pray for your honeymoon:
Gracious God, I pray for my wedding day and my honeymoon to be full of wonderful memories. I ask that You be with us in the celebration, guiding us into a beautiful new season of life. I commit myself and my spouse to You, as we seek Your will in all things. In Jesus’ name I pray, amen.
Jennifer Waddle is best known for words of encouragement as an Author, Speaker and Musician for Women’s Ministry. She currently has three published books on Amazon and is a regular contributor for WomensMinistryTools.com and GotQuestions.org. Jennifer is committed to sharing authentic messages of hope to women of all walks of life. She loves being a wife of 24 years, mom of four, and nana of two. Most of all, she cherishes her time spent in the Word of God, with a cup of coffee and a beautiful view of the Rocky Mountains. Contact Jennifer here: www.jenniferwaddleonline.com or [email protected]
Photo Credit: ©GettyImages/Jason Lee Hughes
Jennifer Waddle considers herself a Kansas girl, married to a Colorado hunk, with a heart to encourage women everywhere. She is the author of several books, including Prayer WORRIER: Turning Every Worry into Powerful Prayer, and is a regular contributor for LifeWay, Crosswalk, Abide, and Christians Care International. Jennifer’s online ministry is EncouragementMama.com where you can find her books and sign up for her weekly post, Discouragement Doesn’t Win. She resides with her family near the foothills of the Rocky Mountains—her favorite place on earth.