7 Ways to Reset Your Family’s Screen Time

Audio By Carbonatix

Maybe, like so many parents, you bought your child a phone because you didn’t want her to be left out. You eventually gave in to your daughter’s pleas for social media, but now she seems unhappier than ever. Your son’s gaming has become a constant battle. You’re clashing over homework, chores, bedtime, and screen limits. Wouldn’t it be nice to go back in time and hit a giant reset button to start over again with technology? What if I told you this was possible

Regardless of the ages and stages of your kids and their relationship with technology, you can reset your family’s screen time. As a parent, you have the power, authority, and responsibility to guard your children from digital dangers and change course when necessary. The average teenager is spending nearly five hours a day on social media. That’s more than 76 days a year spent staring at a screen. Precious time is being lost during critical developmental years, laying a ruinous foundation for adulthood.

You don’t have to sit idly by while your child’s attention span shrinks by the day. Here are 7 ways to reset your family’s screen time:

1. Begin with a screen assessment.

Write the names of your children on a piece of paper. Add your name and your spouse’s if you are married. For each person, note if technology use is casual, at-risk, or addicted. Casual use looks like your child playing a video game for twenty minutes on the weekend and that’s it. The rest of the time, he is playing outside and doing other things. At-risk would be a child who is allowed to play video games on the weekend, but every day, he is asking, “Why can’t I play more like the other kids?” You know what an addicted person looks like. You’re having a hard time getting this child to finish homework, come to dinner, get out of the bedroom, or go camping without Wi-Fi.

2. Repentance begins with mom and/or dad.

If we want our kids to change their bad screen time habits, we must first begin by examining our own. If our kids grew up to use technology just like us, would we be happy? Addictive algorithms don’t discriminate–they come for old and young alike. If we tell our kids to get off social media, but they see us constantly on the phone, the message loses power and can lead to resentment. Our repentance, turning away from the idol of technology and turning back towards God, can lead to our children’s repentance. Pray together as a family from Psalm 139:23, “Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.”

3. Recover screen-free family meals.

Researchers have found that kids and teens who share family dinners three or more times per week are less likely to be overweight and engage in risky behaviors. They are more likely to succeed academically and have better relationships with their parents. How many meals you enjoy as a family together per week may reveal the health of your home quicker than anything else. Whether you sit down for breakfast, lunch, or dinner, get all the devices off the dinner table. You would never allow a rude stranger to join you for dinner each night, so don’t let the phone interrupt your family bonding.

4. Collect all devices from bedrooms overnight.

Nothing good is happening at night on a device. No one is texting your child at 3 AM with words of encouragement from the Bible. The toxic combination of being alone in the dark with a phone leads to serious trouble. Kids and teens don’t have the ability to self-regulate or make wise decisions–especially when they are half-asleep. When we remove the temptation of devices, we are helping our kids to echo the words of David in Psalm 101:3, “I will not look with approval on anything that is vile. I hate what faithless people do; I will have no part in it.” Not only are devices in the dark harmful to the soul, they are terrible for your child’s physical health. Devices in the bedroom delay, displace, and disrupt sleep. As you may know from experience, a sleep-deprived child is an anxious, moody, and highly irritable child.

5. Create a new plan and stick with it.

Good intentions are not enough; you need to make a plan and work the plan. If you have young children, this could be a plan to delay video games, social media, and smartphones until a certain age such as 16. If your children already have devices, your plan may include time limits on video games and phone use, no screens at certain times or places like the dinner table, or no Internet access while gaming. Be specific with your plan and communicate it to your family with enthusiasm. Your child won’t be giving you a standing ovation–you can expect the opposite. But no matter the pushback, you stick with the plan.

6. Leverage challenges that bond family members together.

Instead of retreating to different parts of the house, each family member with a device, what if the whole family fasted from social media for one week? Who is going to break down first and start scrolling: mom, dad, brother, or sister? Challenges can bring families together, breaking us free from ruts and silence. Wouldn’t it be nice to hear laughter in the halls again? You can take breaks from certain technologies like video games, social media, and streaming videos. One couple I know challenged their kids to stay off screens for one month. If they succeeded, the prize was a trip to an amusement park. The boys learned to read books for fun instead of watching videos. It was a huge victory for the family.

7. Regularly schedule two-handed activities.

If your children are rollerblading, playing soccer, or cooking, it’s awfully hard to scroll on the phone at the same time. Have your kids involved in activities that require two hands. This could be an organized sport or activity, but it doesn’t have to be. It could be biking around the neighborhood, kickball in the cul-de-sac, swimming, drawing, or throwing a frisbee. It doesn’t have to be expensive. You might think, “But my kids don’t want to do anything like that. They just want to stay inside.” Friend, you don’t have to wait until your child is in the mood to do these things. You can set the pace and make the kids go outside with you. The child of generations past was told, “Go to your room!” Today’s child is told, “Let’s go outside!”

We want to raise kids who care more about the real world God created, not the online world created by Big Tech. Unless we intervene, our children will be pulled into endless scrolling and constant amusement. It takes a lot more than “good luck” to navigate smartly through today’s rapidly changing screen-driven world. As long as our children live under our roof, we can act with courage to reset our family screen time for good.

Want to Learn More? Listen to My Podcast Episode on The Great Tech Reset

Technology promises to make life better, boost productivity, connect us, and help us learn. But what does it do to childhood? Where is the evidence that a screen-based childhood is best for kids? We all know that sitting still, staring at screens, watching who-knows-what is not good for healthy child development. And it's time for parents to rebel against this tsunami of technology. 

Arlene shares the story behind her new book, The Great Tech Reset: Reclaiming Real Life for Christian Families, published with Summit Ministries. The most unusual thing about the book? For a limited time, it's free!  Just request your copy at techresetbook.com! If you like what you hear, be sure to follow The Happy Home Podcast with Arlene Pellicane on Apple or Spotify so you never miss an episode!

Image Credit: ©GettyImages/Hispanolistic

Arlene Pellicane is a speaker, host of the Happy Home podcast, and author of several books, including Screen Kids and The Great Tech Reset. Find out more at TechResetBook.com and ArlenePellicane.com.