Be Intentional: How to Parent Preteens Well

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Embracing the Journey with Grace and Truth

I still remember the day my preteen son stood in front of me, arms crossed, eyes filled with frustration. “Mom, you just don’t get it!” he blurted out, his voice quivering with emotion. He wasn’t wrong—I didn’t fully understand the complexities of his world, the swirling emotions, the desire for independence. But there was also a deep need for connection. At that moment, I realized something profound: parenting preteens requires more than just love—it requires intentionality. We have to be intentional about trying to connect with our preteens right where they are.

If you’re navigating the unpredictable waters of raising a preteen, take heart. You’re not alone. The preteen years are filled with emotional highs and lows. Some days, it’s hard to know what to say or do to calm those emotions. There are also social pressures. Unlike earlier generations, sometimes it’s hard for preteens to escape from feelings of “not enough.”

Add to that a deep search for identity. The preteen years are a time when kids might try on different personalities, trying to discover what fits. Yet through it all, God’s unchanging truth provides the solid foundation we need to guide our children with grace and purpose.

The Challenge of Preteen Years

Preteens are caught in the middle—no longer little kids, but not yet teenagers. They’re discovering who they are, testing boundaries, and craving independence, all while still needing the security of home. This stage brings unique challenges:

• Emotional Rollercoasters: One moment, they’re full of joy, and the next, they’re overwhelmed by frustration or self-doubt.
• Social Pressures: Friendships become more influential, and the desire to fit in can sometimes overshadow their core values.
• Spiritual Growth: They begin asking deeper questions about faith, life, and their place in the world.

Intentional parenting means stepping into these challenges with purpose, providing the steady hand they need to navigate life’s twists and turns.

Walking in Their Shoes

One of the most powerful things we can do as parents is to recall our own preteen years. Do you remember feeling awkward, misunderstood, or overwhelmed? Empathy can be a bridge that connects us to our children’s hearts. When we step back and consider their struggles through our own experiences, it allows us to respond with patience and compassion.

When we lead with empathy, we create a safe place for our preteens to grow, explore, and trust us with their hearts.

Grounding Them in Truth

In a world that constantly tells our kids who they should be, it’s our job to remind them of who they truly are—children of God, loved and valued beyond measure. Intentional parenting means weaving God’s Word into daily life in practical ways:

• Prayer: Teach them to take their worries to God and find peace in His presence.
• Bible Reading: Guide them to discover God’s promises and apply them to their everyday challenges. Even five minutes a day can make a big difference!
• Conversations: Be open to discussions about friendships, struggles, and even doubts they may have.

Parenting with purpose isn’t about having all the answers. Instead, it’s about pointing them to the One who does.

When preteens are grounded in God’s truth, they develop a confidence that isn’t swayed by the world’s shifting opinions.

Creating a Home of Connection

Our homes should be a place where our preteens feel seen, heard, and valued. Building a positive family culture takes effort, but it’s worth it. Here are a few ways to foster connection:

• Be Present: Set aside distractions and make time for heart-to-heart conversations.
• Encourage Their Interests: Show interest in what excites them, whether it’s music, sports, or creative pursuits.
• Celebrate Small Wins: Acknowledge their efforts and growth, no matter how small.

When our kids feel loved and supported at home, they’re more likely to face the outside world with confidence.

Leaning on God’s Grace

Let’s be honest—parenting preteens isn’t always easy. There will be days when you feel exhausted, frustrated, and unsure if you’re doing enough. But the good news? God’s grace is sufficient.

You don’t have to be a perfect parent to raise godly children—you just need to lean on a perfect God.

He equips us for this journey, providing wisdom, patience, and strength when we need it most.

You’re Not Alone

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, know that help and encouragement are available. Faith That Sticks offers practical, faith-filled insights to help you disciple your preteen with confidence and joy. This season may feel challenging, but it’s also an incredible opportunity to build a foundation of faith that will last a lifetime.

Are you ready to embrace intentional parenting? Let’s walk this journey together, trusting God with every step.

Share this with a fellow parent who needs encouragement today! Also, get your copy of Faith That Sticks here!

Daily Bible Podcast

We’re Tricia and Michelle, two friends inviting you to join us in reading through the Bible chronologically this year. Reading the Bible every day can be a challenge. We’re here to summarize each day’s passage and provide action steps … in under 15 minutes. Grab a buddy and join our community. Take the plunge, and let’s read through the Bible together. We’ll be cheering you on all the way!

You can join us using your own One Year Bible© (if you’d like to purchase one, you can grab your preferred version using the links below). Or you can print up the One Year Chronological Reading Plan. If you don’t have a copy of the One Year Bible©, we will have the exact passages for the next day in the show notes. You can also subscribe to the One Year Chronological Bible Reading plan on the YouVersion Bible App.

Join us here.