When Fear Meets Faith: Navigating the Preteen Years with Hope and Purpose

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Just a few months ago, I sat on the front porch, watching my preteen son play basketball. My heart was heavy with worries about all the changes happening in his life. The world seemed so much scarier than when I was growing up, and I found myself wanting to bubble wrap his heart and faith against all the challenges ahead.

Maybe you’ve been there too – sitting in a quiet moment, your mind swirling with “what-ifs” about your preteen’s future. I get it. As a mom of ten, I’ve walked this road multiple times, and I can tell you something important: those fears don’t have to define your parenting journey.

Years ago, when my oldest was entering the preteen years, I made a choice. Instead of letting fear paralyze me (which it tried to do!), I decided to be intentional about creating a family culture where faith could flourish. This didn’t mean everything was perfect—far from it! But it did mean choosing to be present and purposeful in how we spent our time together.

Let me share what this looked like in real life:

Around our dinner table, we had real conversations about what was going on in the world. Sometimes, these talks led to deeper discussions about faith, friends, and the challenges they were facing. Other times, they just led to silly stories and shared laughter. Both were equally valuable in building connections.

We also discovered the power of simple traditions. Many Friday nights became board game nights. Was it sometimes inconvenient? Absolutely! Did my preteens occasionally roll their eyes at first? You bet! But over time, these consistent moments together became sacred spaces where real relationships grew. (And now that they are adults, my oldest kids love getting together for games!)

One of my favorite memories is when my preteen daughter and I started having “coffee dates.” We’d sit at our local café, and while she sipped her latte, she’d often open up about things that were bothering her. Those conversations became precious opportunities to point her back to God’s truth and His love for her. She now teaches in Europe and lives on the other side of the world, and we enjoy every moment we have together.

Here’s what I want you to know:

Your preteens need you to be engaged in their lives more than ever, even if they act like they don’t. They’re trying to figure out who they are and where they fit in God’s big story. Your presence – your authentic, imperfect, but faithful presence – matters more than you know.

So, how do we move from fear to faith in parenting preteens?

Here are some practical steps I’ve learned:

1. Start your day in God’s Word. Not because it’s another thing on your to-do list, but because you need His wisdom more than ever in this season.

2. Create spaces for connection. You could drive them to activities, help with homework, or just sit in their bed at night and listen to their thoughts about life.

3. Share your faith journey honestly. Tell them about times you struggled and how God showed up. Let them see that faith is real and relevant to their lives.

4. Pray specifically for your preteen’s heart and faith journey. Then, watch expectantly for God to work.

Remember, God didn’t give you these precious preteens by accident. He chose you to be their mother for this exact season. Yes, even with all your uncertainties and fears. He’s not asking you to be perfect. God is inviting you to depend on Him more deeply as you guide your children toward a faith that sticks.

So take a deep breath. Release those fears to God. And remember—this season isn’t just about surviving; it’s about watching God work in your heart and your preteen’s heart in ways you never imagined possible.

Also remember, your story is still being written too, and God isn’t finished yet. Keep showing up, keep loving well, and keep trusting the One who holds both you and your preteen in His capable hands.

Need more encouragement? Check out Faith That Sticks by Tricia Goyer and Leslie Nunnery!

Hope and Refreshment for Homeschooling Parents

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