Continuing the Verbal Fistfight, Part 1

Bill Meyer: When someone you love is hurting, words suddenly feel dangerous. Say too little and you seem indifferent. Say too much and you risk making things worse. Most of us have been there, standing beside a grieving friend, desperate to help, uncertain what to offer. And in those awkward moments, we've probably said things we later wished we could take back. Well, today on Insight for Living, Chuck Swindoll describes a conflict in the book of Job, where a man attempted to comfort his suffering friend, but failed spectacularly. The practical life lessons are embedded in this true story.
Chuck Swindoll: We're in the midst of our study of Job, and we have come to chapter 8 today. I'm calling today's sermon "Continuing the Verbal Fistfight." I just want you to understand that has to do with Job, not some board meeting or something else that's gone on. We don't have those kind of meetings here, thank goodness. But Job certainly had them with his alleged friends. I want to read sections of chapters 8, 9, and 10. Please follow along. "Then Bildad the Shuhite answered: 'How long will you say these things, and the words of your mouth be a mighty wind? Does God pervert justice? Or does the Almighty pervert what is right? If your sons sinned against him, then he delivered them into the power of their transgression. If you would seek God and implore the compassion of the Almighty, if you are pure and upright, surely now he would rouse himself for you and restore your righteous estate.'" Chapter 9: "Then Job answered: 'In truth I know that this is so, but how can a man be in the right before God? If one wished to dispute with him, he could not answer him once in a thousand times. Wise in heart and mighty in strength, who has defied him without harm?'" Verse 32: "'For he is not a man, as I am, that I may answer him, that we may go to court together. There is no umpire, there is no arbitrator between us, no defense attorney between us, who may lay his hand upon us both. Let him remove his rod from me, and let not dread of him terrify me.'" Then across the page, just one section more in chapter 10, verse 17: "'You renew your witness against me and increase your anger toward me; hardship after hardship is with me. Why then have you brought me out of the womb? Would that I had died and no eye had seen me. I should have been as though I had not been, carried from womb to tomb.'"
Bill Meyer: Your listening to Insight for Living. To dig deeper into Job's story, be sure to purchase a copy of our Searching the Scriptures Bible study workbook by going to insight.org/offer. Chuck titled today's message "Continuing the Verbal Fistfight."
Chuck Swindoll: Job and his friends remind me of a forest tale that comes from the northern part of Canada. It seemed as though there were a group of porcupines who, on cold nights, would huddle together. To stay warm, they pushed up close together. But even though the weather was cold, their quills were sharp. So, they then, because they pricked one another, began to move further apart. Then the cold blast of icy wind would blow on them, and they would shuffle back together. They'd stay long enough until they could no longer stand the pricks from one another, and they would push apart. They continued this strange dance through the night. As one wag described it, they needed each other, but they kept needling each other. It reminds me of Job, who doesn't need the presence of a friend when all hell has broken loose in one's life. And who as a friend wants to stay away from someone who is going through the depths like Job was going through, knowing that there might be something that they could say that would bring sympathy and comfort and encouragement. And so they came together. But the closer they got together, as we're learning, the more though they needed each other, they kept needling one another. Rather than carrying out their purpose, which is so clearly stated in chapter 2 and verse 11 of the book of Job, they came for the purpose of sympathizing with him and comforting him, they did neither. As a matter of fact, this verbal fistfight only got more severe. One man describes it this way: "Job was wounded by their harshness, stung by their censures, exasperated by their reproaches, and driven into antagonism by their arguments. The insoluble conflict which they assume tends to place before his mind a distorted image of the character of God. God appears to be torturing him for crimes which he has not committed, to be relentlessly pursuing him as an implacable foe, and without justice or reason, to be employing his resistless power to crush him to the earth. This is the phantom which his friends are constantly setting before him. This phantom apparently so real, Job is incessantly obliged to fight, or it would drive him to absolute despair." And so he does. And so they talk, and he responds. And they keep talking, and he responds. And they keep offering these shallow answers or philosophical meanderings, and he fights to survive. H.L. Mencken was the one who first said, "There is always an easy solution to every human problem: neat, plausible, and wrong." They came with their neat answers that sounded so plausible to them, but they missed sympathy and comfort by a mile. Eliphaz was the first to speak, you may recall, and he came bringing experience as the basis of his message. "I have learned. I have observed. I have seen." He brings all of that to Job as if Job needed to hear that. Job answers him with greater wisdom, and just about the time that Eliphaz steps back, the tag-team match continues as a man named Bildad, verse 1 of chapter 8, steps on the scene. And if you think Eliphaz was offensive, you need to meet Bildad. This man is even less tactful. Talk about a human porcupine. Look at his opening line, verse 1. Bildad the Shuhite answered, "How long will you say these things, and the words of your mouth be a mighty wind?" You windbag. Now, can you imagine sitting there, fevered from the sores that cover your body, the memory of ten children now buried on the hillside, perhaps by your own hand? Your wife whispering in your ear, "You need to just curse God and let him take you off the earth." Eliphaz coming with his no-account counsel, and on top of that, along comes a second friend who is probably a little younger than Eliphaz, though old in age. Bildad begins by saying, "You're a bag of wind, Job," as he listened to these lines of Job that are recorded in chapters 6 and 7 that we have already looked at. We get to chapter 8. Bildad launches into three realms of argument. Let me give you those realms, and then we'll touch on them before we read Job's answer. The character of God is in verses 3 through 7; Bildad speaks of that. The wisdom of the past, which is his basis for speaking, verses 8 and 9, or really 8 through 10. And then the evidence of nature, which he goes into in verses 11 to 19, followed by a few words of conclusion. None of which bring sympathy. None of which offer comfort. First, Bildad, after calling him an empty windbag, turns to the Lord God and gives Job a lesson in theology. That's always nice when you're trying to survive, your mouth is covered with sores as well, you can't eat your food, you can't sleep at night, you can't find peace during the daytime, and on top of that, here comes a preacher with his comments about God, all of which you already know. And so it was with Job, as we'll see. Look at what he says. He says, "Does God pervert justice? Does the Almighty pervert what is right?" And if that's not bad enough, get this line: "If your sons sinned against him, he delivered them into the power of their transgressions." Yep, means exactly what you think it means. I had to read it two or three times to believe a man would say such a thing. It's plain that your children sinned against him; otherwise, why would God have punished them as he did? Not only are you grieved over the loss of your children, now this man has the audacity to say that they have died because God is punishing them due to their transgressions. It's amazing Job just didn't at that point punch him right in the kisser. But Job is a man of enormous patience, and it's good this book is not named Chuck. Let me just put it that way. If that were Chuck 8:4, you wouldn't read what you just read of Job's silence. And then he hits Job below the belt over and over again, and he does it in the name of God, to make matters even worse. Listen to the pious verse 5: "If you would seek God," as if he hadn't, "if you would implore the compassion of the Almighty, if you really are pure and upright, surely now he would rouse himself for you and restore your righteous estate." The implication is obvious. Since you too are sinful, Job, God is not able to bring you or God is not willing to bring you to a state of health and relief. You're being punished, man. You're going through this because of punishment. "Though your beginning was insignificant, your end will increase greatly. Please inquire of the past generation." So he shoots back to the past. Earlier, he said, "Job, look up and consider the character of God. Your sons had this happen to them because of the sinfulness of their lives. You've had this happen to you because of sinfulness in your life. God, who is holy and just and pure, can do none other than what he has done." And as Job reels under that barrage, he now says to Job, "Look back. Look back, Job." Verse 8: "Inquire of past generations. Consider the things searched out by their fathers. We are only of yesterday and know nothing. Our days on earth are as a shadow. Will they not teach you and tell you and bring forth words from their minds?" Bildad, being a traditionalist, says it's because we know nothing by comparison, we need to learn from those of our forefathers, those in days past. Go back to the patriarchs and listen to what they would teach us, because our lives are so brief and their words linger on through the timelessness of the duration of life on this earth. We can draw from that. The tactlessness of Bildad really grates on me. I know he has some strong things he wants to say, but you would think he would say them carefully. He reminds me of a physician I know who, after giving a particular individual a treadmill test, and the individual is rather portly and has finished the treadmill test and he's sweating and he's panting and he steps off the treadmill, the doc says, as he looks at the results, "Not bad for a guy as fat as you are." The guy's done his best to stay on the treadmill, and now on top of that, he's told he's fat. Some people have a great grasp of the obvious, don't they? Bildad is one of them. Now then, with the whole idea of cause and effect in mind, Bildad addresses the subject of nature, and he says, "We can learn, you can learn from nature about what is happening." Notice in verse 11, the mention of the papyrus, which is a plant of ancient days. The mention of green in verse 12. We're in the garden now, you can see that. The spider at the end of verse 14. The garden is mentioned at the end of verse 16. Roots that wrap around a rock pile in verse 17. He's out in nature, okay? He started with the character of God, he then went to the past and he looked at the evidence of the teaching of those in the past, and now he looks around. He's looking around in this wisdom poem. And just as the cause and effect is true in life, it's true in the world of nature, then it's true where you find yourself. Let me draw that together for you. "Can the papyrus grow up without a marsh?" Implication is obviously no. Then in good poetic fashion, he repeats similar words: "Can the rushes grow without water?" The point is, if these plants do not have water, they will wither and die. And the implication is, Job, you are withering and dying because you're a hypocrite. It only follows that your hope is perishing because you haven't a pure heart and a right relationship before a holy God. Verse 13, here is he just drives it home with a hammer and nails: "So are the paths of all who forget God." What's the implication? Job has forgotten God. "And the hope of the godless one will perish." He's now calling him even godless. And then he mentions a spider's web, whose confidence is fragile, whose trust a spider's web. Can you lean on a spider's web and be sustained? No, of course not. No matter how confident, the web is fragile and will break. Job, your confidence is like that. You will soon break and you will fall. And then having said that, he turns to the garden. No matter how luxuriant the plant, no matter how strong the root system, when it is pulled up, verse 18, "If he is removed from his place, then it will deny him saying, 'I never saw you.'" The implication is that that is what has happened. God has uprooted you, Job, and or something has happened to your root system that has led to this deathlike condition in which you find yourself. Now, you say, "Boy, that's pretty complicated." Well, it's philosophy. Remember, they're the people who talk about things they don't know what it's all about and they make it sound like it's your fault. And that's the way it is with Bildad. He is meandering around all these philosophical thoughts, and Job is sitting there trying to put them together and think, "What is there that I can gain from this?" And then he closes it off with verse 20 through 22. God will not reject a man of integrity. What's the implication? You're not. Nor will he support the evildoers. By now you're getting it. You've already seen where I'm going. He will yet fill your mouth with laughter, your lips with shouting. Those who hate you will be clothed with shame. The tent of the wicked will be no more. You'll know a day when you'll pass off this earth and all of life will be wonderfully restored for you. You'll know joy. He missed it by a mile. He certainly didn't get the point of what Job needed. A friend of mine sent me an example of this this week that I think illustrates it. A man asked his wife, "If you could have anything in the world for one day, what would you want?" And she said, "I'd love to be six again," she said with a smile. Early the next morning, the morning of her birthday, he got her up and off they went to a local theme park. What a day. He put her on every ride in the park: the Death Slide, the Screaming Loop, the Wall of Fear, everything that was. Five hours later, she staggers out of the theme park, her head's reeling, her stomach is upside down. Off to McDonald's next. He ordered her two Big Macs along with extra fries and a thick chocolate shake, and then it was to an animated movie, the latest Hollywood blockbuster. There were hot dogs and popcorn and Pepsis and M&M's. A fabulous six-year-old adventure. Finally, she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed. And he leaned over and lovingly asked, "Well, dear, how'd you like being six again?" One eye open, she said, "Well, actually, I meant my dress size." Bildad misses it by a mile. He comes at Job as if Job needs sermons and condemnation and illustrations from the past and philosophical thought and examples from nature and spider's webs and roots around rocks and all of this. And Job just says, "Look, can you help solve the sores I've got all over my body? Or can't you just say you're here to be with me and to sit alongside as I try to survive?" But I don't need to put words in Job's mouth; he can speak for himself. And he answered. Now, remember last time we were together, remember I told you about the cycles in Job? Get that clear in your mind or you'll be at odds with the book. It'll be a jumble of words and dialogue that doesn't tie together. There's no reason to view it like that. There are three cycles. Three cycles. And in these cycles, there are dialogues. The first cycle, there is first Eliphaz, Job answers him. Bildad, Job answers him. Zophar, Job answers him. That finishes the first cycle. Then there's a second cycle which is exactly the same rhythm as the first. Same ones speak, Job answers each one. The third cycle, everyone but Zophar speaks. Maybe he's walked away with his hands up saying, "I can't get through to him. Job isn't very teachable. I'm not going to waste my wisdom on a man like that." And then there appears finally a younger man named Elihu, chapter 32, and he continues until finally God comes on the scene. And they all get the evaluation: "Sorry counselors are every one of you," which is a great way to put it. And then the men are put in their place. And they in fact are, Job is to pray for them and they make things right. But we're not there yet. It's interesting. There are people like this. There are people like this. One man puts it this way: "It seems almost incredible that Bildad would reply so callously. There's not only indifference to Job's plight but an arrogant certainty that Job's children got just what they deserved and that Job was well on his way to the same fate." The lesson we must learn is that there are such people in the world and that they do their heartless disservice to mankind under the guise of being the special friend of God. Have you noticed that? The harshest letters I've ever received have come from fellow Christians who sign it "in Christian love." Or they begin it with "God told me to write you this." And I thought when I read it, "I wonder if he's baritone or bass." And then they unload a piece of their mind they couldn't afford to lose in this letter. Eliphaz ventured a word, but I'm telling you, Bildad was downright blunt. He opens with a blast. I just want to add here, no extra charge: Think before you write a letter of criticism. Think. I believe it was Franklin, Benjamin Franklin, I believe it was Franklin who said, "Write your complaints in dust, your affirmations in marble." Don't record for posterity your complaints, please. If you need to do that, then say them. Say them face to face and say them kindly. Before you do that, put yourself in the shoes of the other person for a considerable period of time. Chances are good you'll never say a word.
Bill Meyer: Some powerful words from Chuck Swindoll. He said, "Before we speak, before we write, pause long enough to stand in the other person's shoes. Chances are we'll choose silence over words we can never take back." It's a simple standard, but one that could transform every relationship we have. Chuck titled today's message "Continuing the Verbal Fistfight." We'll place a bookmark in this passage because we'll resume our study right here on Tuesday's edition of Insight for Living. Job's so-called friends had plenty of words. They assaulted Job with their judgment. What they didn't have were answers. And the truth is, neither do we. When the world falls apart, when suffering arrives without warning, and silence replaces all the certainty we once had, where do we turn? Well, Chuck wrote a compelling book written for exactly that moment. It's called "Finding God When the World's on Fire." With the warmth and wisdom you've come to expect, Chuck will guide you through the darkness toward the one who's sufficient for every need. We'll send you a copy of his book when you include a contribution to support the ministry of Insight for Living. It's our way of saying thank you and pointing you toward the peace that only God can give. Once you're finished reading Chuck's book, you'll want to share it with a friend or family member. Let Chuck's wisdom comfort you in the fire. Request the book "Finding God When the World's on Fire" by going to insight.org/donate or call 800-772-8888. When you make a gift to Insight for Living, you ensure that Chuck's teaching is available to you every day. But in addition, you cast a lifeline to others who need hope as well. Here's our contact information. You can write to us at Insight for Living, Post Office Box 5000, Frisco, Texas, 75034. You can also go to insight.org/donate or call 800-772-8888. I'm Bill Meyer. Join us when Chuck Swindoll describes how to effectively comfort a suffering friend. Tuesday on Insight for Living. The preceding message, "Continuing the Verbal Fistfight," was copyrighted in 2002, 2004, and 2026, and the sound recording was copyrighted in 2026 by Charles R. Swindoll, Inc. All rights are reserved worldwide. Duplication of copyrighted material for commercial use is strictly prohibited. Duplication of copyrighted material for commercial use is strictly prohibited. Duplication of copyrighted material for commercial use is strictly prohibited. Individuals may duplicate a single copy of this message for their personal use, but may not distribute copies to others without written permission from Charles R. Swindoll, Inc. All Scripture quotations are taken from the New American Standard Bible. For further information, please visit insight.org. Thanks for listening. We hope to see you again next time. My name is Bill Meyer. Goodbye.